Small Children Are Monsters
by RandomMoo92
Summary: A certain pair of small boys steal Harry Potter's wand and run amuck. Enjoy!


**Small Children Are Monsters**

'Small children are monsters' Harry thought angrily. His four year old son, James, and three year old son, Albus, had stolen his wand and hidden themselves somewhere. Harry had searched high and low for them but to no avail.

But James and Al hadn't just run off with his wand. O no, they had turned his hair bright pink and turned his one year old daughter, Lily, into a duckling! Harry's only consolation was that Ginny was due home soon; she would know what to do and where to find his cheeky sons. Although, he couldn't imagine what she'd say.

Harry heard the door open, rushed into the hall and flung himself at Ginny ... but it wasn't Ginny, it was Ron.

"Are you happy to see me Harry?" Ron asked, fighting down a laugh. Then he noticed Harry's luminous hair and couldn't hold back. He let out a great, loud, belly shaking laugh.

"It's not funny! James and Al have stolen my wand, turned my hair bloody pink and turned Lily into a bloody duck! What the bloody hell am I meant to do! I can't find them anywhere and Ginny's going to kill me!"

Ron couldn't help it, he laughed harder, grasping Harry's shoulder to keep himself steady. Slowly, he regained composure and turned serious.

"Ginny won't kill you; she's too fond of you. Have you looked in the wardrobe?" He asked.

"Yes!" Harry answered, picking up Lily, who had just wondered in, looking for her daddy.

"All of them?"

"Yes!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

"Really?"

"Bloody hell Ron! Yes I've checked the bloody wardrobes and the cupboards and under the bloody beds"!

"Calm down Harry! We'll find the boys and I'm sure I can manage to turn Lily back!"

"Ron I'd rather you call Hermione and ask her to turn Lily back."

Ron turned to enter the living room, intending to floo Hermione.

"By the way Harry, pink suits you."__

Hermione had no idea why Ron had called her over to Harry and Ginny's, but he promised it was something very funny. So she'd left the empty house (Rose and Hugo were at the Burrow) and apparated to the Cornwall coast where Harry and Ginny's five bed roomed cottage was located. He passed through the door and was met with the most amusing sight. Harry, holding a fluffy yellow duckling and sporting a new, pink hair style.

Hermione giggled.

Then laughed. Hysterically.

Ron joined in while Harry looked on grumpily, trying to calm the fidgeting duck.

Hermione pulled herself together, wiping tears of laugher from her eyes.

What ... what happened?" She asked, a giggle in her voice.

Ron explained, trying yet again not to laugh.

"Please change my hair and Lily back." Harry pleaded, holding out his daughter.

Hermione waved her wand and the tiny duckling turned back into her small, red headed niece. She didn't bother turning Harry's hair back though.

"What about my hair?" He asked, angrily.

"I think Ginny needs to see it." Hermione answered, grinning almost evilly.

The front door opened and in walked the woman herself. Upon seeing Harry she dropped the shopping she was carrying and several rolls of parchment. Ginny sank to the floor shaking with silent laughter.

Harry just handed Lily to Hermione and stormed into the kitchen.

"Oh dear." Ginny said, regaining control. "Let me guess ... James and Al?"

"Yep!" Ron replied. "Now he can't find them!"

"Oh that's easily sorted."

Ginny made her way to the bottom of the stairs.

"James Sirius Potter and Albus Severus Potter, if you don't come out right now and give Daddy his wand back and say sorry to Daddy and Lily, then there will be no pudding for you for a whole week!" Ginny smiled to herself, knowing that that threat would work. "Oh and I'll take your brooms off you!"

Two sets of small feet could be heard running across the landing, then not so quite whispers. Albus came first, followed by his older brother (No doubt the master mind behind the plan.) James handed his father's wand to his mother. They both dragged their feet over to Lily, who was still being held by Hermione.

"Sorry Lily." They chorused before making their way to the kitchen.

"Sorry Daddy." Could be heard from behind the closed door.

Harry came back into the hall, holding his two grinning sons.

"My hair please, Hermione." He asked.

With a wave of her wand Harry's hair was back to normal.

"Where were you boys?" Ron asked them, still grinning.

"In da baf" Albus answered, grinning back.

"You didn't look there did you Harry?"

"No."


End file.
